Chasing highs can be disappointing.

The trick is to find satisfaction in the normal and celebrate the high as the exception. Otherwise, we can unknowingly create a new norm where highs are the rule and anything less is a disappointment.

How great would it be to let the high reside in the special realm it was meant to and relish in the joy it brings us for a time without redefining our norm. This is easier said than done most times, but I’m convinced it’s worth the effort.

Blessed are those who have companions to help them rest in the ordinary and find satisfaction there instead of constantly chasing highs.

It’s 3:57 in the morning and I just finished watching the most viewed daytime television event in history- the wedding of Luke & Laura on General Hospital in 1981.

I’ve never been a soap opera fan but insomnia will make you do strange things. I treated it mainly as a study of an era. I was most interested in observing the clothing, the makeup, the hairstyles, the caliber of acting and the content of the storyline.

After viewing it, I found myself in a dreamlike state as I walked about my house. I could see my pink slippers, the view of my backyard from the kitchen, the lamp beside the livingroom couch- but I was seeing it all through a different lense.

It was as if I was taking mental snapshots for future perusal without meaning to. I was seeing each scene as if I was remembering it later in life. Such an odd experience.

But that’s the gift drama. No matter how far-fetched the storyline, it can make us freeze time, take inventory and recognize the power of the present moment.

A great gift indeed and all thanks to a sleepless night and a soap opera episode I will never view again.

The more I experience, the more convinced I am that the outcomes don’t matter. What we perceive as a positive outcome is not necessarily an indicator of God’s blessing or His presence. Likewise, a poor outcome is not an indicator of His absence or disappointment.

It’s so tempting to measure God’s love by the outcome of things we pray for. But that’s too narrow a view for a God as great as ours. Outcomes were never intended to be a measure of God’s love. They are simply a part of the journey, adding depth and dimension to our lives.

Good, bad and indifferent outcomes can all have the same rich impact– that is, if we allow God to walk alongside us and inform our experiences. I believe that’s the point– to learn to share everything with Him. That’s where the gift is. It’s not in the results.

I returned to my hometown five years ago to be closer to family. Family was the main draw but I quickly learned they can’t be everything- at least not for a single woman in her late twenties. I needed more. And by God’s grace I found it by way of friends.

There’s over a dozen of us guys and gals in our mid-twenties to early thirties working in various unrelated fields, who all love living in Montana and the sense of adventure it offers.

In our last two years of friendship, we’ve witnessed a lot of milestones in each others’ lives- weddings, babies, moves, new jobs, houses, cars, and pets.

During this time, things have remained pretty consistent for me besides the addition of a new car and my sweet lil kitten Sammy. I have the same job, live in the same house and am still waiting on my man. The latter of which occupies my mind the most.

While my friends all pursue new life changes in the company of their spouse, I continue to navigate life on my own.

Don’t get me wrong. I am blessed. My friends and family do an awesome job of accompanying me in my singlehood. And graces abound in my solitude even when it hurts. I know I’ll look back on this phase of life as a special, intimate, growing time.

Even so, there are times I wonder how much more I need to grow alone. Beautiful growth can be had in the company of another. It just doesn’t make sense to me. I was sure he’d be here by now. Why he’s not, I can’t say. 

But it’s mysteries like these that remind me God’s ways are greater than mine. There are many things I will never understand and I thank God for that. That’s what makes this journey so rich and intriguing- the unknown and the understanding that there’s something bigger than us.

And so, as many times before (and many times yet to come), I choose to accept my divinely placed ignorance and to live into the mystery God’s placed before me.

I will do my best to soak up His graces and to live life to the fullest in this place, knowing there are many treasures yet to be found here and that there is a loving God hard at work behind it all.