So it turns out I’m competitive. Who knew? This competitive spirit especially shows itself when I’m at bat for my church league softball team.

Not sure if it’s possible to distinguish between personally competitive vs. team-ly competitive but I would err certainly towards the former if that distinguishment existed.

I care little for winning & dislike playing with people who are preoccupied with that goal. However, I care very much about playing well & putting forth an effort towards that cause. If little effort is put forth, I may have issue, but if, as a team, we try & fall short, it affects me very little.

But that perspective only pertains to the global effort. Those rules somehow don’t apply to me individually.

Effort carries very little weight in that realm. Success is utmost especially when I know I’m capable. It’s unfortunate, really, because I’d love to offer myself the same grace I believe everyone deserves. But somehow, in the moment, I’m convinced that grace doesn’t apply to me.

But I love my team & am so grateful for what we have. And I know my self-deprecation does little to advance that.

So here’s to fun, freedom & commoradery. Let that always win & let the pride lose out for that greater good. From here on out, I vow to receive the grace my team showers over me with every shortfall.

Let the competitive spirit abound in healthy & ample portion but may it never detract from the greater gifts of fellowship & enjoyment that this sport offers me.